and one more...
upsi...maybe I did something stupid...but maybe also really good the same time
I'm so confused...

Fuck.

As I wrote last time...I'm not sure what to think about K. who I am kind of dating at he moment... I got kind of frustrated because it felt like what I had with him wasn't enough for what I wanted right now... and I didn't know how I feel about him etc.
Well, then I thought...we never said anything about being exclusive or so... so I went back on the dating apps... I probably just wanted it to be kind of a bit of harmless swiping...and texting... just to distract from my frustration and confusion with K.
then I matched with this really cute guy...omg he is SO SO hot! - I thought he's probably a fuckboy because he is so good looking and has a lot of muscles and stuff...but his profile said he's looking for realationship and texting him was really nice...and then he asked me if he could invite me for a coffe...and I thought...yeah sure why not...it's a first date...nothing's gonna happen...
well...yesterday was our first date and it happend a lot... we were walking around, sitting in the park and talking for 2 hours...then it started to rain and we went to his becaue we didn't want the date to be over and because of corona we couldn't really go anywhere inside...
so we were at his... and let me tell you... it was an adventure... we had Sex for hours...I'm not even exaggerating.. (there were breaks inbetween of course).... it was really crazy and really good. I felt like I was in another universe at some point...it was really rough, but also gentle and sweet...it was crazy and dynamic and... oh my god his body... I could look at it all day long - I am really not visually attracted to mens bodys that often, but him....OMG! I am so so lucky.
And he was so sweet...he also made clear again that he didn't want to meet just for sex and that that wasn't his intention to meet me for sex...-(well even if it was just for sex... it would have been totally worth it haha) -he also said it was the best sex he had in a long time... same for me... I don't know what happend there, but somehow it really is a match - sexually at least.
We also talked a lot and he sent me cute texts after I went home and today in the morning... he said he wants to see me again and made plans about stuff we can do together...

I don't know... it was really good... I am kind of in the mood of asking him if we can see each other again today- I know he'd say yes. But maybe it's good to make up my mind first.. It's really confusing...what am I supposed to do with K.now?
I mean I didn't cheat or anything, but C. (the guy from yesterday) really want to date me I think - not just for sex... and what ever it is with K.- it is more than sex as well, though I don't know how much more...and my feelings for him kind of went away like I said... I don't know, I kind of feel like it's wrong to date both... but on the other hand I've seen C. only once - so what if it was just that good that one time? And should I quit the thing with K. anyways? ... It doesn't feel that easy and fun anymore for some reason... I don't know..let's see... I'll definitly see C. tomorrow again.... I'm so looking forward it!



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